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  • ISPs' post-net-neutrality world is built on 'bribes' says Tim Berners-Lee

    19 September 2014, 11:58 pm

    Father of the worldwide web is extremely peeved over pay-per-packet-type plans Sir Tim Berners-Lee has never been one to hide his opinions. Now the father of the World Wide Web is up in arms about the state of net neutrality in the United States.…
  • Apple's warrant canary riddle: Cockup, conspiracy, or anti-Google point-scoring

    19 September 2014, 11:34 pm

    Please pick one, Tim Analysis The internet was in a tizzy this week following the disappearance of what's assumed to be a warrant canary in Apple's latest report on governments demanding users' private data.…
  • Oh you crazy Frenchies. Iliad won't take no for an answer from T-Mob US

    19 September 2014, 8:38 pm

    S'il vous plaît bébé, c'est mon anniversaire French telco Iliad, which earlier this year was shot down in its attempt to buy T-Mobile US, is once again hoping to make a play for the American carrier.…
  • Want a Tizen phone to build apps for? Now's your chance – provided you don't need it to work

    19 September 2014, 6:09 pm

    Outdated handsets that can't make calls can be YOURS…
  • 19 September 2014, 5:48 pm

    Plenty o' grog to drink from all thar Alibaba booty Sprawling web souk Alibaba didn't see its stock-market debut go as planned on Friday.…
  • Pop open this iPhone 6 and see where the magic comes from ... oh hello again, Qualcomm

    19 September 2014, 5:05 pm

    New speaking slabs blown to smithereens Teardown Apple's new iPhones have been torn apart to reveal their innards – and we're told if you're prone to lobbing your new mobe at the ground, there's a good chance it's repairable.…
  • Lumia rebrand begins: Nokia's new UK web home is Microsoft.com

    19 September 2014, 3:43 pm

    Yarr, them Nokia logos walking the plank and into the drink Microsoft has quietly begun the process of transitioning its Lumia smartphones away from Nokia branding, beginning by moving the line's website to a new, in-house URL.…
  • Hazelcast trousers cash, poises open-source cutlass against Exadata belly

    19 September 2014, 1:03 pm

    Do ya feel Luck-y, punk? Another day, another bunch of VCs pour cash into a tech startup. Move along; there’s nothing to see here - or is there?…
  • Alien condoms. Stuck to the wall. That's entirely normal, y'know

    19 September 2014, 12:28 pm

    And 3D printed model houses, because they're awesome…
  • India vs America: Earthling invaders in race to MARS

    19 September 2014, 11:56 am

    MAVEN and MOM neck and neck in plunge toward red world India and America are locked into a race to Mars - but it looks as if the Yanks will get there first.…
  • Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed

    19 September 2014, 11:35 am

    Remastered so hard it would be difficult or impossible to master it again U2 singer Paul Hewson (aka Bono) has hinted that Apple is working on a new music format that will make buying music “irresistible” all over again.…
  • Joan Rivers promotes iPhone 6 from BEYOND THE GRAVE

    19 September 2014, 11:20 am

    Deceased comedienne loving the new fondlephab Dead comedian Joan Rivers has shuffled briefly back onto this mortal coil to promote Apple's iPhone 6.…
  • You - vendor. Pin your ears back, I've got some things to tell you

    19 September 2014, 10:26 am

    No, there is no coffee and you may not sit down. Notebooks out…
  • Divinity Original Sin and Wasteland 2 reviews: Turn-based gaming's NOT DEAD YET!

    19 September 2014, 9:31 am

    Kickstarter funded fun-packed thrills…
  • Buying memory in the iPhone 6: Like wiping your bottom with dollar bills

    19 September 2014, 8:59 am

    Mind, t'Motorola StarTac were like GOLD Anal-ysis So, Apple charges £539 for a 16GB iPhone, £619 for a 64GB device and £699 for a 128GB jeesus! Phone.…
  • Register man goes from back to front of iPHONE 6 queue in 60 SECONDS

    19 September 2014, 8:45 am

    Arr, he'm used t'magic o' fast forrard, d'ye see Vid World+Dog descended upon the flagship London Apple Store today in an attempt to get their sweating hands on the phabulous new iPhone 6 Plus.…
  • Your chance to WIN the WORLD'S ONLY HANDHELD ZX SPECTRUM

    19 September 2014, 8:30 am

    Reg staff not allowed to enter, god dammit Competition Youtube Video…
  • Blood-crazed Microsoft axes Trustworthy Computing Group

    19 September 2014, 8:02 am

    Security be not a dirty word, me Satya. But crevice, bigod... Microsoft is closing its Trustworthy Computing Group as part of the loss of 2,100 jobs in a restructuring plan unveiled on Thursday.…
  • Bacon-related medical breakthrough wins Ig Nobel prize

    19 September 2014, 7:39 am

    Is there ANYTHING cured pork can't do? Is there nothing that can’t be solved with the judicious application of bacon? Apparently not, as this year’s Ig Nobel Prize for Medicine winners can attest.…
  • Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate

    19 September 2014, 7:21 am

    Belay that toil, me hearty, and park your scurvy backside…
  • iPhone 6: The final straw for Android makers eaten alive by the data parasite?

    19 September 2014, 6:57 am

    Arr, makin' spy kit fer Google, a mug's game matey…
  • TOR users become FBI's No.1 hacking target after legal power grab

    19 September 2014, 6:03 am

    Be afeared, me hearties, these scoundrels be spying our signals The FBI wants greater authority to hack overseas computers, according to a law professor.…
  • Plucky Playmonaut parties as LOHAN hits Kickstarter goal

    19 September 2014, 5:27 am

    Bring on the wenches'n'mead, set course for New Mexico…
  • Open source and the NHS: Two huge disorganised entities without central control

    19 September 2014, 5:04 am

    Nay dragons here, me lad - these be long lost lovers…
  • Russian botnet suspects cuffed over romantic MMS spyware allegs

    19 September 2014, 4:32 am

    Avast! Belay that 'RomanticVK' order - there be MONSTERS Russian cops have arrested two mobile botnet cybercrime suspects as part of an ongoing investigation that's reckoned to be the first of its kind in Russia.…
  • Object Storage Alliance launched. Problem: 3 vendors haven't joined

    19 September 2014, 4:03 am

    See here, me IBM mateys, why d'ye languish with these scurvy curs? After complaining for some time that its message is not understood, the object storage industry has set up an Object Storage Alliance – only to have three suppliers refuse to join.…
  • Google Apple grapple brings crypto cop block to Android

    19 September 2014, 3:25 am

    Belike tears of joy to this old seadog's eyes, lad Google has told The Washington Post it will introduce default encryption into its new Android fondleslabs in a bid to foil police forensics (and maybe to copy or catch up with Apple).…
  • Who's that at the door, storage box flingers? It's the hard drive makers. No, they are not smiling

    19 September 2014, 3:04 am

    Nice treasure chest ye have there. Shame if it fell overboard…
  • Stray positrons caught on ISS hint at DARK MATTER source

    19 September 2014, 2:29 am

    Landlubber scope-gazers squint to horizons and see anti-electron count surge Data gathered by the International Space Station's (ISS') Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer (AMS) is being cautiously suggested as useful evidence for the existence of dark matter.…
  • Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us

    19 September 2014, 2:01 am

    Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report Italian boffins claim to have devised a method of predicting future crime trends in London using creepy footfall data collected by a mobile phone provider.…

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